I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
