I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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