Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
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