it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
