i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i will never coherently bang her
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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