hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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