Pappa wants mamma naked
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
