you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
