I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
