Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
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