with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
4 words: hood of his car
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
