just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
two words: eviction party
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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