So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
