Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
