I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
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