what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
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