I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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