I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
