Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
