she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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