I'm jealous of your bromance
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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