last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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