fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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