Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Randomize
