So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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