Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
