shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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