TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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