Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
