I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize