no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
