I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
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had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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