I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize