dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
