I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
