so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
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When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
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I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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