I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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