In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
