I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I have post one night stand depression
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