My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
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