i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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