Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
