But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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