I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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