grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
