I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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