did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
