that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
