It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
God I need to hump something, right now.
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