We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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