you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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