on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
