but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
