The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
