Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
