Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
