you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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