A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
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