sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
