i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
He shit in the fireplace
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
