If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
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i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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