we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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