my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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