oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize