Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize