I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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