It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
